I AM Joshua “HIV”
Hi, Facebook, what’s up world. This is Joshua. And I am going to talk about something that I have not really talked about and a long time And a I’m really, really, I’m actually proud to talk about this. As I said, this is I AM Joshua and Mmm tomorrow is a very, very special day in my life. The reason why is because I get to go to the doctor to find out if I have completely been healed, have HIV.
Joshua T Berglan
00:01:39
Umm, I have not discussed this and a long time, but you know, after being diagnosed with HIV several years ago, I went off on a path of pure destruction, meaning instead of immediately going to the doctor saying, Oh, I’m going to get help and starting to take medication and doing all of the responsible stuff. I set out to destroy myself.
Joshua T Berglan
00:02:09
I set out into abusing drugs even more like instead of turning away from meth and cocaine use, I went all out and went more and try to destroy my life. But then Jesus happened and it gave me the motivation to do the work too, to not, I didn’t know about getting healed, but at least at the very least, at the very least becoming undetectable through taking the proper medication and taking proper care of my body, I’m about a year and a half ago, I did an experimental treatment.
Joshua T Berglan
00:02:51
And one of the things about taking this experimental treatment was that I a, it was going to be really hard to know about being healed because there was a certain type of testing that had to be done to be able to figure it out. So antibodies are really popular thing to hear about right now because of COVID and people that have antibodies and the cure and the treatment that can come out of that as to the antibodies.
Joshua T Berglan
00:03:22
So I went to the doctor a couple of weeks ago and got tested for HIV and there was no sign of HIV nun. But the part that is amazing about that is I, I lost my insurance after I left Los Angeles. So that means I didn’t have my medication. I have not, I did not. And I do not. I need to preface this. I don’t recommend this because it’s highly dangerous, but I really believed God that God was going to heal me.
Joshua T Berglan
00:04:01
I believe that I believed in this experimental treatment. So I stopped taking the medication because I ran out of the medication. So for almost a year, I did not take my HIV meds. Well, that’s not like nine months, nine months. I didn’t take the medication. So I went to the doctor or a couple of weeks ago and got tested. There was no sign of my HIV that in itself is kind of a miracle because it doesn’t really work that way.
Joshua T Berglan
00:04:33
So because of this, I qualified to take a special test to see if I have the antibodies of HIV and tomorrow I get the find out those results. Here’s the thing for a long time. Aye I really didn’t. It didn’t really care if I was going to be healed because I felt like I didn’t deserve to be healed because of the actions that Aye, that my actions, you know, I mean, there’s look there’s consequences for our actions and everything we do.
Joshua T Berglan
00:05:12
And there’s consequences to my actions. I mean, I’ve been divorced three times. I lost my kids Aye there was no, I didn’t get HIV from eating Cheerio’s I didn’t believe I deserved to be healed. But then I started to think about just how powerful it would be to find, to, to discover that I was healed because of the testimony that that can be the testimony of the healing power of the Lord, Jesus Christ, my Lord, Jesus Christ.
Joshua T Berglan
00:05:50
And tomorrow I get to find out if indeed has been truly healed or I can find out that I have to start taking the medication again, which is something I don’t wanna do. But I want to say this. I want to talk about consequences. Consequences. Don’t have to be a bad thing. Consequences for our actions of our past.
Joshua T Berglan
00:06:21
Do not have to be a bad thing because God can use those consequences. Always. I always say that God’s not obsessed with sin and he’s not. I don’t believe that the Lord is obsessed with send at all. That’s why we can repent and move on the fact that some of us burden ourselves and shame ourselves and, and beat ourselves up for the things that we do.
Joshua T Berglan
00:06:51
You know, you are, whether it could be last or you have a relapse and you go out and you, you know, you tie one off a little for the weekend or, you know, whatever you do something wrong. And then we shame ourselves into this submission, submissive self-imposed prison. That’s not what God wants for our lives. That’s not what Jesus died on the cross fore. It wasn’t for you to shame yourself.
Joshua T Berglan
00:07:23
It was for you to be able to go forgive me, I surrender this to you. Forgive me. I repent from this and move on. Now, if you mess up, if you cheat on your spouse or do you, you do something wrong. Yeah. There’s consequences for it. But the sooner that we repent, the sooner that we ask for forgiveness, for the way that we do wrong, the less the consequences are in the faster that God gets.
Joshua T Berglan
00:07:56
Two, use our mistake for good. Some of you remember when I, when I had a meth relapse two years ago, and this woman had all these naked pictures of me and she was threatening to blackmail me and I go and I started laughing at her going, I don’t think you know who you’re talking to because I went on the air on my show, gratitude, unfiltered. And I talked about it right after now.
Joshua T Berglan
00:08:28
I’m not proud of that meth relapse. I’m not proud of it. And you know what? There were consequences for that. I lost a lot of credibility and that sucked, but I’m human. And so I want to encourage you today, regardless of where you are at with your faith or where your beliefs are, regardless of where you’re at with your, just your struggles. The sooner that you can surrender it in, lay it at God’s feet at Jesus’s feet.
Joshua T Berglan
00:09:02
And say that I surrender this to you. The sooner you can do that, the faster the God can use it. Please stop beating yourself up. Please stop shaming yourself. You know, there’s so much turmoil in the world right now. There is so much anger. There is so much hostility for me at this point. Like don’t even know what I’m like. It’s coming from every direction at this point. And it’s exhausting.
Joshua T Berglan
00:09:32
The last thing that you need to do right now is to shame yourself into submission because right now the world needs you. The world needs your story. The world needs your truth. The world needs you to release those secrets because that secret pain that you carry that secret shame could very well be your gift to the world. I make people very uncomfortable when I talk about HIV, but it is not my intention.
Joshua T Berglan
00:10:05
Here’s the thing. I’m not a victim to HIV. I did it to myself, but I’m also not a victim to it being a be in some kind of secret. If it doesn’t weigh me down, being an abuser, being an addict, being all of those things, being homeless, being mentally ill, all have it like it doesn’t it enslave me. I can talk about it. I, and, and, and it’s very freeing.
Joshua T Berglan
00:10:37
And even my mistakes to be able to release them and ask for forgiveness or repent from them is very freeing. We all are called to do something extraordinary in this world and extraordinary has different levels. I get it. But what’s important to some is not necessarily important to others’ or what’s extraordinary to others is not always extraordinary to, you know, the other people, but don’t get it twisted.
Joshua T Berglan
00:11:07
You have an extraordinary purpose in this world. So please anything that’s weighing you down, just say, thy will be done. I surrender this to you, release it because the world needs you free, free, full of energy full of life. And the world needs you to contribute your gifts back to the world because there’s somebody out there right now, that’s suffering in silence that needs to hear you talk about the secret that you’re keeping Lauren Harris is famous for saying 98% of the truth is not the truth.
Joshua T Berglan
00:11:54
I’ve stolen that from him because I’m a living testimony too. What that means when I originally started sharing my story and broadcasting, it The one. The two things that I kept secret were too of the two of the six times I’d been in jail, I was keeping a secret and it was also keeping a secret about HIV. I never knew in my wildest dreams that sharing that too of the times I’d been in jail were from being here an abuser.
Joshua T Berglan
00:12:26
I never right, or a new in my wildest dreams by sharing that, that I would actually be able to create the space, to have a healthy conversation about abuse. And by doing that, its been able to help a lot of people. I also didn’t know that sharing that I had HIV was actually going to help other people. Either. You see HIV is not a death sentence. It’s not, it’s not sure a death sentence because of the medication now was so good that you can be undetectable.
Joshua T Berglan
00:12:56
Well, relatively quickly, there are side effects of the medication, but its not brutal and its not like you’re going to die from them. Either. All odds are most people with HIV nowadays we’ll die of a heart attack are die of old age or something else way before they will. HIV if they choose to start living a healthy lifestyle afterwards, see its not a big deal. I mean look, yeah, it sucks. It does it do it, it, you know it, but at the same time it doesn’t burden me.
Joshua T Berglan
00:13:30
So regardless of the outcome tomorrow, finding out whether I’ve him, you know, I still have HIV or not, not really that married to it, except it would be cool to be able to say, Jesus healed me from HIV. That would be pretty amazing. That would be a great testimony to Jesus and I hope to be able to deliver that message tomorrow. But if not, I’m also okay, because here’s another thing I want to tell you.
Joshua T Berglan
00:14:00
No matter what you’ve done in this world that you feel is wrong. No matter how she, no matter what you have been a criminal, a killer, a drug dealer and an abuser, an addict. No, no, no matter what it is, no matter what, right? No matter what you’ve done, God can use it for good. He’s used it for good in my life. And another thing, no matter what you’ve lost, Jesus right. Jesus can restore everything you’ve lost and restore it in such a way that it was better than the first time around.
Joshua T Berglan
00:14:38
Because the thing about it, it is when Jesus restores things in your life, it’s because you’ve done the work to heal. Restoration is a gift from God. I think outside of the fact that there’s salvation, the greatest gift and the world is a restoration. It’s your reward for doing the work to heal. So I don’t know who this message is for today, but I felt led to share it and that’s it.
Joshua T Berglan
00:15:12
God bless you. If I can do anything at all to support you. If I can pray for you, if I can just listen to you or be any other kind of support, please do not hesitate to reach out. God bless you. I love you. And this is I AM Joshua you buy.
